Feng Shui--Is That Like Lo Mein?

Time: 00:00:00
Day: 1
Location: Starting line

Team Turtle: Nine minutes until show time. We can hear you just fine, so why don't you go ahead and start your first log?

Pokey: "What? Already? But, I don't know what to say first. Shouldn't I make some kind of formal introduction? Maybe a nice icebreaker game like--"

Team Turtle: No time. You can talk about anything you want, though, so go right ahead. Why don't you start by telling everyone about the race? You can tell them how you trained for it and your running strategy for today.

Pokey: "Running strategy? My strategy is: I want to win. That's pretty much it."

Team Turtle: Oh. Well then, tell them about your "happy place."

Pokey: Do I have to?

Team Turtle: Surely.

Pokey: Fine, but if I hear muffled giggling in these headphones, I'll stop!

Team Turtle: That's what our mute button is for.

Pokey: Haha, guys. Anyway ... well, my happy place is kind of ... complicated. I'm not a very zen sort of turtle, meaning I lose my focus pretty easy. Certain things get me all flustered, and before you can say, "Haagen-Dazs," I'm downing sweets to calm myself. So when I started training, Team Turtle thought it was best if I did some daily "mental exercises." Yeah, it was as lame as it sounds.

Team Turtle: Be nice.

Pokey: Heh-heh, I thought you said I could talk about whatever I wanted? So, anyhow, I had to come up with a "happy place." My happy place could be any scene from my imagination that made me feel all sunshine and teddy bears. I'm supposed to think about my happy place when I'm agitated, so I can focus again. First off, my happy place has been way tamed down. I had this whole scene worked out with rivers of lattes and biscotti boats, but it kept making me so thirsty that I ended up jogging to Greenbucks. You don't gain muscles by sipping coffee and reading celeb mags for an hour, you know? So, now my happy place is me and some flowers. Yay. The second problem, and the BIGGEST problem, is that my happy place could be the happiest place of all, but I don't think it's going to do any good when I see her.

Team Turtle: Do you really want to get into this right now?

Pokey: Oh, we are so in it. How can I not think of her? That cruel, snobby, cruel, vindictive, cruel, gossiping, cruel fashionista! Let me tell you all about the one, the only (thankfully)

HONEY BUNNY!

*Must find my happy place, must find my happy place, must find ...*